The smell of sea salt; I feel a soft breeze and wish I could just dissolve into it. I want to be me, not what everyone else wishes for. I just want to be real.
"Midori," he calls, "You know what happens when your components interact with saltwater. Come inside"
I sigh, He's just worried. "Yes, master." I walk up to him, concealing something behind my back. I pull it out to reveal what it is. An open oyster shell, inside is a small pearl.
He smiled softly at me "Is that why you were out there?"
I look up at him, smiling softly back "Yes" I say quietly.
He pats my head like a dog. "Come inside before you rust." I nod and follow him through the door. "I'll start some tea, and you get the door."
I watch as he takes the oyster from my hands and walks away. As I close the door, I see something strange on the beach: a girl with long green hair and red legs. Then I realize they're not legs, but a giant fin. Before I see more, she dives into the water and vanishes.
I shut the door and walk into the depths of the rental cabin. The house was almost quiet exept for the smacking of my wet feet on the hard wood floor and the faint workings in the kitchen. I enter to see him putting tea on the stove. When he turned arround to face me, smiling, I told him about what I saw on the beach.
His face grew concerned. "I thought this might happen..." He puts his hand on my cheek. "Yeah, just what I feared. You're overheating." He grabs my hadnds softly yet firmly and leads me out of the kitchen and into the front of the house. He opens the door of the cement garage and turns on the lights. A cold steel table and many scientific instruments have been temperarily set up. "I hate doing this to you, but I'd hate even more for you to break down..."
That look in his eyes... Is it sadness? Regret? A long, distant memory? These human emotions are so strange... "I feel fine, master."
"Of course you would say that. Now, it's time to get on the table." A flash of pain passed through his eyes as he said that. He shook his head sadly. Wrapping his strong hands arround my waist, he helps me hop onto the table.
I lay back, sighing. "I know how much it hurts you to do this to me, but don't worry, it doesn't hurt." I reassure him with a smile, and in return I get a smile back.
"It still makes me uncomfortable, even though I know that." He sweeps the hair out of my face. "Where was the point of interaction?" His index finger slowly starts to trace my jaw line, and then it moves to my collar bone.
"My feet," I frown slightly as his touch leaves my neck. He slides his rolling chair to the other end of the table. I hear a screwdriver and clinking metal.
"I see the problem spot." He rolls back up to my face. "This won't take too long. Sweet dreams."
I see his face move to kiss my forehead before my world goes dark.
                                            ****
At times like this, I can't help but remember how I got here… how my journy began…
                                            ****
"Midori, stop, you're going to kill someone!"
"I'm a monster, and monsters stop for nothing." My voice sounds odly cruel, and my bright red hair is flailing in the wind.
"Stop saying that, you're not a monster!" He softly grabs my hands and stares me in the eyes. Thoses deep blue oceans can see everything. "You're beautiful."
I rip my hands away from him, "YOU stop saying THAT! I'm a hideous freak of nature!" I storm away from him, even though it hurts me to do so. Once I felt that he couldn't possibly be behind me anymore, I sit down. What are these things I feel churning inside me? Is this what it's like to be human? To be real? … I'm not sure if I… "want to be real, still…" A drop of liquid falls onto my hands as I look at them. I turn my eyes to the sky. That's odd… "There's no clouds…" This time I could feel liquid on my cheeks. I slowly and catiously raise my hand to my face, and I could feel the ammount of liquid growing. I pull my hand away to see it's just water. As it flows down my face, some water covers my lips, and I lick them. "Salty…" Why is this salty? We're hours away from any body of salt water… "Why am I leaking salt water…?"
"They're called tears."
I whip arround, taking an offensive stance. "State your name!" But I freeze, still in my battle-ready stance. He's standing right in front of me. "Master…"
He walkes towards me. "How many times do I have to tell you? It's Hitoshi." His arms are open and waiting for my embrace; his usual soft and caring smile on his face.
I shake my head and back away, "I can't… I just can't…"
He takes a step towards me and stops, "why can't you? You're just not used to it, is all. But you will be."
"But I'm not even human... you don't understand what it's like going arround like I do... can't feel... never tired... just emotionless and blank."
He slowly starts to inch towards me, but I can't find the strength to move away. "I don't care if you're human or not... because no matter what you or anyone else thinks." He's a foot away from me... "I will always think of you as human." Meer inches separate us now.
As he reaches to touch my cheek, I slap his hand away, more harshly than I intended to. "You only think that of me because of who you made me look like." Shock and pain are written all over his face. "I found her picture…" I look up at the sky again. "Isn't it strange how much I look like her?"
He lets out a deep and slow sigh. "I should have told you before… but I didn't want to hurt you by making you think I just made you because she's gone."
I whip my head to look at him. "That's the entire reason you made me and you know it! Don't lie to me." I feel the tears flowing down my face again, more than there were before. "And how can you be so stupid as to think you could hurt me? I have no feelings, remember? Sometimes you are just such an idi-" I faulter, unable to continue my words out of surprise. Through the tears, I didn't notice that he had wrapped his arms arround me.
"Ok, at first it started as me desperately missing my late wife, but I've grown attached. You're different than her in so many ways that you're your own being." He losens his grip so that I can look up at him. My eyes are clear because I wiped them on his shirt. "I love you for you, not who I wanted you to be in the beginning."
I can't believe it was right in front of me the entire time. "How can you love someone who's not real?"
He gently takes my hand and kisses my nose. "But you are real," he smiles, gently stroking my cheek, "to me."
I stare back at him with soft eyes. This doesn't make sense. These human emotions... They're too much, too real... so... so... not me. I pull away and look at the ground. "It doesn't matter if you love me or not, I don't know how to love back, it's too confusing."
He gently places two fingers under my chin to raise my eyes to his. "Then let me show you." I scrunched my eyebrows together. He wasn't making any sense, how could he -- my thoughts stopped and my heart skip a beat. His warm lips were pressed against my cool ones. He lingered long enough to leave a lasting impression on my lips as he pulled away. "Let me show you."
                                            ****
"Midori, I'm done." A gentle touch to my forehead brings me back to the present time. I see his smiling face, those deep blue eyes, that shaggy blonde hair. "Good morning, sunshine." His smile reveals his perfect, pearly white teeth.
I look back at him happily. Then I realize that my cheeks are covered in tears. I try to discretely wipe them away. "Did you fix them?"
"Yeah, it was a quick cleaning." His face grows soft and caring, like it does so many times. "You were crying... bad dream?"
I shake my head. "No, just a memory."
He strokes the hair out of my face, "were you remembering that moment?" I nod. "Your days of being a 'monster' are over. You're safe." He holds me tightly in his arms and wispers in my ear. "You're safe... and I love you."
A sad smile spreads across my face. "I wish you would stop saying that… no matter what you say I'll always see myself as a freak of nature…"
His face grows serious, "I wish you would stop saying THAT. You're not a freak of nature… you're a wonderful, beautiful girl that I love."
I sigh and look down, "Those words… I feel like they should mean some-thing to me… but they never do…" I look back up at him. "I don't even know what love is besides a strong emotion…"
I could practically see the light bulb turn on above his head. "One second." He runs out of the room and returns a minute later with a dictionary. He flips through the pages mumbling "love… love… Love is… here. 'Love, verb. To feel tender affection for somebody such as a close relative or friend, or for something such as a place, an ideal, or an animal. To feel romantic…" His face turns pink, "desires and longing for somebody. To like something, or like doing something very much. To feel and show kindness and charity to somebody. To have se-" His face is now bright red.
I shrug, "I know what the word means, but I don't know what the emotion is like.
He reaches down to hold my hand, and kisses my lips again. He whispers in my ear, "That's because you never let me show you."
I smirk and laugh lightly, "You're such an idiot."
Fake hurt spreads across his face. In a sarcastic voice he sighs, "Oh, you hurt my feelers! I've been damaged."
I laugh again, "Oh shut up and help me off this thing."
He laughs in return and offers a hand to help me down. Once my feet are touching the cold, hard floor, he gets onto one knee. "Let me show you what love is… be my wife."
I stare at him in shock. "But… I'm just a robot that you made… is it even legal to marry me?"
He laughs, "Well there's no law against it, so I would assume so."
I smile softly, "Yeah…" I nod, "Of course." A grin spreads across his face as he stands up, hugs me, and twirls me around in a circle.
This is the beginning of something new… something spectacular… something beautiful.